A Hopeful Endurance

I've been struggling with some heaviness and discouragement that has been tough to shake. The Lord is faithful to remind me of truth, but sometimes in weakness it is tough to reach out for the peace and comfort that is ours in Christ.

In the midst of these times, I'm reminded to be grateful for the Spirit, the Word, community, and some old theologians that feel as though they've become dear friends. One of those being Thomas a Kempis - below is a writing of his that brought me much hope and joy today.

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Grievous Things Endured

My son, be not wearied by the labors which you have undertaken for my sake, nor let tribulations cast you down. But let My promise strengthen and comfort you under every circumstance. I am well able to reward you, above all measure and degree.

You shall not long toil here, nor always be oppressed with griefs. Wait a little while, and you shall see a speedy end of your evils. There will come an hour when all labor and tumult shall cease. Poor and brief is all that which passes away with time.

Do in earnest what you do; labor faithfully in My vineyard (Matt. 20:7); I will be your recompense. Write, read, chant, mourn, keep silence, pray, endure crosses manfully. Life everlasting is worth all these battles, and greater than these. Peace shall come in one day which is known unto the Lord, and there shall be "not day, nor night" (Zech. 14:7) (that is, of this present time), but unceasing light, infinite brightness, steadfast peace, and secure rest. Then you shall not say: "Who shall deliver me from the body of this death?" (Rom. 7:24); nor cry, "Woe is me, that I sojourn in Mesech" (Ps. 120:5). For death shall be cast down headlong, and there shall be salvation which can never fail, no more anxiety, blessed joy, companionship sweet and noble.

Oh, if you had seen the everlasting crowns of the saints in Heaven, and with what great glory they now rejoice, who once were esteemed by this world as contemptible, and in a manner unworthy of life itself! Truly you would humble yourself even to the earth, and would rather seek to be under all than to have command even over one. Neither would you long for this life's pleasant days, but rather would rejoice to suffer affliction for God, and esteem it your greatest gain to be reputed as nothing among men. Oh, if these things had a sweet savor to you, and pierced to the bottom of your heart, how could you dare so much as once to complain!

Lift up your face therefore to Heaven. Behold, I and all My saints with Me, who in this world had great conflict, do now rejoice, now are comforted, now secure, now at rest, and shall remain with Me everlastingly in the kingdom of My Father!

Truths for Today

Here are some truths I feel inclined to cling to today...simple, but needed:

God is good.
He is in control.
He is completely trustworthy.
He sees me.
He knows me.
He delights in loving me.
He loves me perfectly.

Praise God!

Small, fragile lights in the dark

In the past few months I've been doing a lot of reading on the implications of the Industrial Revolution - particularly as it relates to agriculture. In the Industrial Revolution we began to mechanize processes in order to increase efficiency and production. The result being a greater quantity of lower quality products. That, of course, is a drastic oversimplification, but it is a sufficient base for all that follows, ha ha.
These readings and thoughts have surfaced for me a lot of really interesting insights and parallels with the way we go about church and ministry. The result has been some major shifts in my philosophy of ministry and ecclesiology. I've been working on writing out all my thoughts in a comprehensible way, but I thought I'd share a little bit of what has influenced some of my thinking along the way...

The following are some excerpts from Wendell Berry's collection of essays, "Another Turn of the Crank."

The world of efficiency ignores both earthly and divine love, because by definition it must reduce experience to computation, particularity to abstraction, and mystery to a small comprehensibility...

Yet love obstinately answers that no loved one is standardized. A body, love insists, is neither a spirit nor a machine; it is not a picture, a diagram, a chart, a graph, an anatomy; it is not an explanation; it is not a law. It is precisely and uniquely what it is. It belongs to the world of love, which is a world of living creatures, natural orders and cycles, many small, fragile lights in the dark...

Of his experience witnessing his brother recovering from a stroke in the hospital:

It was impossible then not to see that the breathing of a machine, like all machine work, is unvarying, an oblivious regularity, whereas the breathing of a creature is ever changing, exquisitely responsive to events both inside and outside the body, to thoughts and emotions. A machine makes breaths as a machine makes buttons, all the same, but every breath of a creature is itself a creature, like no other, inestimably precious...

Any man's death diminishes me...The world of love does not admit the interchangeability of parts.

You're welcome just as long as you will stay.

During a recent trip to an antique store, I purchased a Nature Magazine from 1956 and have thoroughly enjoyed reading through it. It has a lot of great pictures and illustrations, interesting commentary on how humans interact compassionately with nature, and many articles that seem to engage nature with an eye for faith - way cool, right?
There is also a lot of nature-related poetry scattered throughout, and there was one poem I really loved.
Enjoy:

Purple Heart Award

A bit of ham-fat in a shiny pan
(That once contained a little frozen pie)
Attracted one small warbler, come to scan
Our shrubbery for insects. Quick and shy,
He landed on the window feeding-tray
Then sat as weightlessly as a cotton fluff
Upon the pan's edge, where he pecked away
Until the jealous linnets drove him off.
"Coward!" I whispered as he fluttered down
And later wished the epithet unspoken:
He came again, alone. One foot hung down
And then I saw his tiny leg was broken.

Little wounded soldier, hear me say
"Your welcome just as long as you will stay."

- Ruth Seymour Vesely

Loneliness

Ran across this today, and it stirred some helpful thought and processing...
An excerpt from Henry Nouwen's The Wounded Healer:

But the more I think about loneliness, the more I think that the wound of loneliness is like the Grand Canyon - a deep incision in the surface of our existence which has become an inexhaustible source of beauty and self-understanding.

Therefore I would like to voice loudly and clearly what might seem unpopular and maybe even disturbing: The Christian way of life does not take away our loneliness; it protects and cherishes it as a precious gift. Sometimes it seems as if we do everything possible to avoid the painful confrontation with our basic human loneliness and allow ourselves to be trapped by false gods promising immediate satisfaction and quick relief. But perhaps the painful awareness of loneliness is an invitation to transcend our limitations and look beyond the boundaries of our existence. The awareness of loneliness might be a gift we must protect and guard, because our loneliness reveals to us an inner emptiness that can be destructive when misunderstood, but filled with promise for the one who can tolerate its sweet pain.

Reflections for a New Year

Below are 10 questions that were given to me to review at the beginning of a new year or on your birthday - both being ideal times to pause and reflect on where you've been, where you are, and where you hope to be. A nice way to regain our bearings.

I appreciate how thinking through these things has helped me carry more intentionality into my relationship with God and with the people he has placed in my life - may they do the same for you!

Happy 2011!

1. What is one thing you could do this year to increase your enjoyment of God?
2. What is the most humanly impossible thing you will ask God to do this year?
3. What is the single most important thing you could do to improve the quality of your family life this year?
4. In which spiritual discipline do you most want to make progress this year, and what will you do about it?
5. What is the single biggest time-waster in your life, and what will you do about it this year?
6. What is the most helpful new way you could strengthen your church?
7. For whose salvation will you pray most fervently this year?
8. What is the most important way you will, by God's grace, try to make this year different from last year?
9. What one thing could you do to improve your prayer life this year?
10. What single thing that you plan to do this year will matter most in ten years? in eternity?

Dog-sitting

This is Ceili (Kay-lee). She's the sweet 6-month old puppy I've been watching for a couple days. Cute, right?

Sometimes I only sort of want a dog, but after 24-hours with Ceili, I really want a dog. Along with the 'want' for a dog is the want of a lifestyle that would enable me to have a dog - ie. not being gone for 10-13 hours a day and traveling multiple nights every month. Beyond these 'wants,' of course, is the ever-increasing 'want' of wanting less - of being content with what the Lord has given and living with a deep sense of gratefulness.

I talk through these things all the time with the students I work with - how comparing ourselves with others or envying God's gifts to others robs us of the joy God has for us. Truths that are easy to tout, but require a little more time to internalize and own. Nonetheless, the Lord keeps brining me back to the truth that his good gifts to others don't make his good gifts to me any less good. I lose a sense of gratefulness when I fixate on the things I want that the Lord has lovingly withheld - like a bratty child that is given loads of presents but not that one that she wanted, and erupts into tears. I'm thankful that the Lord pushes me to step back and have an eye for all that he has given - I am not left in 'want.' He satisfies our desires with good things (Ps. 103:5)...He satisfies me with good things.